At Loose Ends

I am quite disappointed in myself. As I was getting ready to start this post today, I looked at my last one. It was last week's sermon! Nothing wrong with that except it was from a week ago. I didn't post anything last week after Tuesday. I want to be much more active on this blog. I was intending to put this week's sermon on today, but I don't want two sermons in a row. Now I have to get creative.

Last week was really disjointed for me. It seems that almost nothing went the way that I had intended. Tuesday, the day of my last post, went pretty much as I had intended. I went to Starbuck's in the morning, wrote until noon and went home for lunch. The afternoon was spent in routine work around the house; a great day.

My normal routine on Wednesday starts with my cluster meeting. This is a meeting of five of my closest friends in the pastorate. We have been meeting weekly for around ten years (or maybe more). I really look forward to this meeting. It is the one opportunity in the week when I can truly be myself. I trust these men. Our purpose of meeting is to listen to God (and one another) and do what He says. Jimmy, our host, had to go to the doctor, so there was no meeting. Somehow the whole day was shot for me. I didn't get anything done that I should be doing.

Thursday was a good day -- BUT, it was really not normal. Thursday, should have been the day that I go back to my "office" at Starbuck's. My mentor group, a pastor's group from the San Diego area that meets with Tom Mercer, pastor of High Desert Church in Victorville, got together. This is a monthly meeting. We hadn't met all Summer, so this was an important meeting. I also look forward to this time with the rest of the guys, but it doesn't allow time for the ordinary. Then, in the afternoon, my wife, son and I had an important meeting with our family counselor (more about this at another time). This also was good, but it took my day out of the ordinary.

Finally, Friday came and nothing happened out of the ordinary. I was just upset because I hadn't done what I wanted on Wed. and Thurs., so I didn't do anything on Friday either! I'll show me!

I had time on Saturday, but that time was spent preparing for Sunday (except for a depressing session listening to the UCLA football team losing to Arizona).

Why am I going on about this? Part of it is that I just feel like complaining. I am not happy with myself for not keeping up with things. There is another reason though; I need to realize that life happens and it doesn't always happen on schedule. I have to be more flexible. In my daily devotional time this morning, God reminded me that I am semi-retired. I am not on a rigid schedule. Planning is good. Discipline is good. But, I need to lighten up. The schedule that I want to follow is just that -- it is the schedule that I want to follow! No one else is expecting this. It is something that I am putting on myself. I need to "go with the flow". I am trying. I am also trying to find a way to be disciplined and on schedule, yet to still be flexible. Pray for me -- I'm an old dog and this is a new trick.