A Real Family

Last night Linda and I went to the 25th anniversary party for Dale and Penni Neely. It was mainly for family, but I was invited because I performed the ceremony 25 years age (for those who knew me then, the ceremony was actually jointly performed by me and my co-pastor Dan Stolebarger). I went for two reasons, 1) Linda and I wanted to have a good time and 2) we like and respect the Neelys. I did enjoy the party. The kids really did a great job. But, I also found a new and deeper respect for Dale and Penni. In fact, not to be too political, I found the best reason to vote for Proposition 8 that I can think of.

Families like the Neelys is what marriage is all about. It is about children. Penni had two, Dale had three and they had one together; this makes six. Five of the six are married; that makes eleven. The five that are married had 13 children. Now we really have a family. Then you add in uncles, aunts, in-laws and you really have a party -- and a family. It is impossible to develop this kind of family without a man and a woman!

We had an open-mike time and I listened to each one of the kids strike a similar theme (actually some of the young in-laws added to the same theme). Penni's children were happy for the marriage because they desperately wanted a father. Dale's children were happy for the marriage because they desperately wanted a mother. This is what a family is about.

Am I saying that two gays can't be in love? Of course not. Whether I agree with with homosexuality of not is not the issue. People are gay and I believe that they can love one another just as non-gays do. I also believe that gays should be happy. Even though I am opposed to gay marriage doesn't mean that I can't celebrate their happiness. One of my favorite TV shows is Ellen. Ellen DeGeneres is so happy over her marriage. I wish her the best and celebrate her happiness. But, I am very sorry that it came at the expense of what I strongly believe that marriage is about. What about gays and children? I also believe that gays can and do love children. I believe that they can be good parents. But, I also believe that singles can be good parents and love their children. But, I also believe that the best option is a man and a woman; Dad and Mom.

Isn't it discrimination to allow heterosexuals to marry and homosexuals not to marry? Yes it is. Anything requiring a license is not an absolute right and those without the proper qualifications can't obtain a license. I would love to fly a plane, but they wont give me a license. Brain surgery really looks interesting, but I can't seem to qualify for the license. I think that I am being discriminated against. But, I can get these licenses if I acquire the proper knowledge and ability. Marriage licenses do discriminate; they are only for one man marrying one woman. This is discrimination, but it is not a Civil Rights issue.

I firmly believe in the rights of gays for non-discrimination in all areas of life. I believe in equal employment. I believe that they should be able to adopt children. I believe that there should be some sort of civil union that gives them all the rights of marriage; but not marriage itself. Of course, I am writing as a pastor of a Baptist Church. It is my further belief that the marriage license is how the state regulates marriage. Ultimately, marriage is a religious "sacrament" (the quotes are because Protestants generally don't really have sacraments -- but it is basically the same thing). If the state really decides to change the traditional definition of marriage, the church should come up with something to designate a traditional marriage; like Bride and Groom Union (not very good, but you get the idea). The state can do what it wishes to do. The church must stick to what is interpreted as God's will.

Anyway, enough ranting! God bless the Neelys. I wish them well throughout their lives and through succeeding generations.