Unbroken! -- I missed it!

I had tickets for a pre-screening of the film Unbroken on Tuesday, but missed it. I am sorry that I missed it because I have been looking forward to seeing the film. This story has been in the back of my mind since I was a teenager. I actually met Louis Zamperini; well, I got to shake his hand. He spoke at one of our youth meetings and told much of his story. I have always been interested in the history of WWII, so the story stuck with me. Then, earlier this year I read Laura Hildebrand's book, Unbroken. Wow, what a story of courage as well as faith, compassion and forgiveness.

If you are unfamiliar with the story, some of the high points are these:

• He was a juvenile delinquent
• He became a runner and was a champion at USC
• He was in the Berlin Olympics of 1936
• He was a navigator aboard a B24 bomber in the Pacific
• After a crash, he was adrift in a two man life raft for 47 days
• He was saved by the Japanese who immediately imprisoned him
• He was brutalized in the prison camp
• After the war, he suffered badly from PTSD
• He accepted Christ at the Billy Graham LA crusade of 1949
• He was healed of his PTSD
• Began to serve the Lord
• Returned to Japan and forgave his captors

As a believer, I see God's hand all the way through his life. The fact that he made it through the horrible experiences is a testament to his character and courage -- but I believe that we see the grace of God also.

When he accepted Christ, he was immediately transformed; the nightmares that he had suffered (the PTSD) ceased that night and have never returned. A God blessed life.

The movie which will be released on Christmas day is directed by Angelina Jolie. There are already many complaints that, since she is not a believer, the Christianity is downplayed. As I mentioned earlier, I haven't seen the movie. I did see an interview of Angelina Jolie and Laura Hildebrand by Tom Brokaw. Louis Zamperini also participated. There was also a clip of Billy Graham preaching in 1949 with Franklin Graham describing Zamperini's conversion. I was blessed at the impact this man made on each of the participants in this program. If only these were impacted, it would be enough. I hope the movie is a great success, it is a story that needs to be told. I hope also that the message of God's grace; the message of the power of God's transformation of life; and the message of the healing power of Jesus Christ, comes through. If not, then it is up to us who know about such things to share with others seeing the movie, but don't know the rest of the story. 

Happy Veterans Day

Wow! Here it is a day when America stops to honor me. A holiday in my honor. Well, I do exaggerate, I guess the day is not only for me but for a few million others who carry the title of Veteran. The picture is of Margaret Everett who symbolizes to me the changing face of the modern veteran. I don't know Margaret well, but when I first met her, I didn't see her as military. She was a pretty, petite wife and mother. Yet, here she is. I am proud to know Margaret. I certainly know many other veterans -- of the modern era, Jake, Ian, Jesse (and others), from my era, Jimmie Hubbard, Art Alari, Wes Guthrie, Rob Mahan, ElRoy Peterson -- my uncle Paul who fought in Korea and my uncles, John and George, who were in WWII.

What is this day all about? When I was a child, the day was called Armistice Day. It was to celebrate the end of WWI which ended on the 11th day of the 11th month at 11:00 am in 1918. This was the Great War to end all wars. Yet, it didn't end the Wars. There was WWII, followed by Korea followed by Vietnam, followed by the Gulf War followed by Afghanistan followed by Iraq -- with many little skirmishes in between. Hovering over much of the above was the Cold War. There are a lot of veterans.

I read an article over the weekend that indicated that we demean the meaning of hero -- as well as the status of the Veterans -- to label all veterans as heroes. I agree. Most of us aren't heroes. We are just people who did a job. Certainly there are many who are/were heroes -- but not most of us. None of the guys that I know consider themselves heroes, even though I know some who are. Yet, for most veterans, some sacrifice was involved. The sacrifices were not equal. Some sacrificed their lives. Others lost limbs; their health was ruined; their families couldn't wait for their return; financial problems -- on and on. I certainly consider any sacrifice that I made as minimal, yet there was sacrifice. When Linda and I celebrated our fifth anniversary, I had been gone three of those years; two in Vietnam and one at sea primarily around Vietnam. Even though I got to meet my little baby daughter briefly before she was two, I didn't really get to know her until after her second birthday. Since, I ended up as a Lieutenant Commander, my finances were pretty well taken care of, but in my first year as a commissioned officer in the US Navy, I made less than my final summer working on the assembly line at the Ford Motor Company. I seem to be in pretty good health, but the VA recently acknowledged that my hearing loss was a result of military service. I also received my first partial disability check whereby the VA attributed my heart attack, stroke and high blood pressure, at least partly, to my exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam.

No, all veterans are not heroes. Some are/were. Some are really good people, some not so good. There are veterans who have been President of the United States, others Senators and Congressmen. Some have been a CEO of a large corporation. Most just make an honest living. There are College Professors, school teachers, scientists, doctors, lawyers, carpenters -- on and on. There are also drug addicts, mental patients, completely disabled people, homeless people, prisoners. In short, whoever might read this -- there is a veteran just like you.

I am proud of my service. I am honored to be honored. Thank you America.

A Tough Time; A Good Time

I see that my last post was in July. I think that I have forgotten how to write. I have meant to write, but sometimes I just couldn't. A lot has happened since my last post -- some not so good. Yet, in retrospect, God has blessed Linda and I immensely. I suppose that I should let you in on what has been happening in our lives. But first I must just admit that I have been busy and just didn't feel like writing.

The major difficulties have revolved around Linda's health. She has been in the hospital four times during this period. She had one cardiac procedure and two spells where she couldn't breathe adequately (Asthma?) Of course it is Linda who has the problem -- but I become an emotional basket case. I don't feel like doing much of anything. Then, I ended up in the emergency room because of a fall. We live in a basement apartment. To get to the car, we have a flight of concrete steps. I pride myself in how well I can just almost run up the stairs. Unfortunately on one of my runs, my right foot hit the top step and I began to fall onto the concrete driveway -- don't fear, I managed to break my fall with my face. I looked like I had been in a fight. I had a big bump with a bright red scab on it right in the middle of my forehead. I also had two black eyes and a cut over the bridge of my nose. But, it was really my pride that was most injured! As I went into the emergency room the triage nurse said, "You are over 70 and on blood thinners. We need a cat scan of your head and neck immediately." I liked the prompt attention -- but I could have done without the "over 70 needs special treatment" statement. Oh well. I got over it. Linda seems to be doing well now. I finally feel like writing.

We also had some good times during this period. We got to spend time with our friends Sharon and Wayne when they visited us from Tucson. Then Linda and I went to Wilmington, NC to visit Donna (Linda's sister) and George (her husband.) This was a wonderful time. It was also a special gift because Donna and George not only entertained us royally but they paid our way back there. Linda and I are blessed with good friends and a wonderful family. That makes up for all of the down times. But when I am busy having a good time, I also don't feel like writing.

Then, I began to feel guilty. I really believe that the Lord wants me to write. I want to write and I believe that I have something to say. But, when I feel guilty -- I move into avoidance mode. I don't write. In fact I don't do much of anything except avoid doing whatever I am "supposed to do." 

Two more good things that I should mention. I not only got a new driver's license -- good for five years -- but my eyes are still 20/20 -- with no glaucoma or cataracts -- not bad for an old man. Then there is the VA. I have already written about receiving hearing aids. The reason that it took me so long to apply at the VA is my resentment from the 70s. When I went to the hospital for treatment in 1977 or so, they refused to treat me unless I signed a waiver that I would never sue them over exposure to Agent Orange. This really angered me. How ironic! I just mentioned this to the VA and signed some papers. This month I received my first check for a disability due to my exposure to Agent Orange. They have determined that my heart attack and stroke was probably (at least partly) due to my exposure to Agent Orange. This is a real surprise.

I am confessing, that some of these things make me feel old and weak. This is what the Lord told me this morning. "You say, 'I am old and weak.' I say, 'Trust me for I will give you strength and wisdom. You have nothing to fear. I am with you!'" This is my encouragement. I am old. I am a lot weaker than I want to be. Yet, God is with me. He is my strength. I can mount up on wings as an eagle. I can climb the stairs without falling. I can and will write. 

Some Thoughts on the Holy Spirit Conference 2014

It has now been a while since the annual Holy Spirit Conference at Green Lake, WI. I suppose that most of those who are really interested in what God might be doing at this conference have already seen a lot of postings about the conference on Face Book. I thought that it was a great conference! I have also been thinking about why this conference was so meaningful to me.

The first conference was in 1975 under the leadership of Ken Pagaard. In those days, the sponsoring group was the American Baptist Charismatic Fellowship. This was an informal group of pastors and lay persons who were interested in Holy Spirit renewal in the American Baptist Churches. I didn't make this conference; my first time was in 1979. I have only missed three or four since. I have served in many roles over the years; worship leader, leader of the conference, workshop presenter, leader of the Pastors track -- and most often, just an attendee of the conference. I have served on the leadership team (National Service Committee) since 1981. I am stating all of this as background as to why I found this conference so special.

The first reason that the conference seemed so special is that I am getting older. I don't know when I will say at the end of the conference, "This is my last one." I hope it isn't too soon, but that day is coming. This is not a depressing thought, but when this thought begins to enter your consciousness, you begin to really pay attention to what is happening -- this might be your last time. I was really attentive at this conference.

The second reason was that the speakers were great -- and they had a consistent message. John Grove from New Jersey started things off at the Green Lake Conference worship service. This was technically before our conference began, but his message was a great kick off to our conference. Then came Todd White! In one of my favorite musicals, "The Sound of Music," the nuns sing, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Well Todd wasn't a problem, but I say, "How do you describe a man and his message like Todd?" He is an African American with long Dread-locks. He is funny.His testimony includes the statement that he is a convicted felon with a Bad Conduct discharge from the Marine Corps who was a drug abuser. Yet God transformed his life. He is a bold witness for the Lord. He is a man who allows the Holy Spirit to work mightily through him. His motivation is love. He wants us to be bold, but not clones of Todd White. God wants us to be authentically who we are.

Then there is Dean Sherman. I have heard him speak several times. He is the tame speaker. He looks normal (I am speaking as an old man -- forgive me). His message was profound. He tied together what Todd said and what Robbie Dawkins was going to say. The motivation is the love of God. God loves each of us. We are God's children and he wants to use us. He wants us to be bold in ministry, yet our ministry will be our own because we are God's creation and he has ministry that works for us personally.

Robbie Dawkins in appearance looks like someone who might have lynched Todd White in another day -- yet, that was not his personality. I can't tell his whole testimony. I will just say that he is an excellent communicator who can have you laughing one minute and sitting in awe just a moment later. He ministered healing. He also shared God's love with us. The message of all four was consistent. God loves us, wants us to love other and to be bold as we share that love with others.

The Third reason was my Pastors Track. What is the pastors track? Well, pastors who have never attended the conference are eligible for a scholarship -- the catch is that they must be a part of the pastors track and I head that up. We eat lunch together, discuss the speakers, spend time with some of the speakers and experience some small group interaction. This is always a blessing for me. I had an interesting group; one of my oldest friends, Kevin Cope from Oregon; a Vineyard pastor from Chicago (who had actually at one time been the supervisor of Robbie Dawkins); a couple of African American pastors from Sioux Falls, SD (one grew up close to where I did -- even though I was much earlier -- the other was from the Ivory Coast; a missionary couple from Prague (he was born in the Netherlands, his wife in Ensenada and their children in Germany; and a pastor from the state of Washington. This group encouraged me a lot.

I think that this is enough for now. I will post another blog later this week with reasons four and five. Anyway, I am glad that I got to attend this year. Looking forward to next year. 

Some Comments on Bad Religion by Ross Douthat

I actually finished reading this book a couple of weeks ago. I really want to comment on this. Ross Douthat is an interesting person in his own right. He is the youngest columnist for the New York Times -- and he is the token conservative. He is a Catholic Christian and he is concerned about the church and its role in society.

Douthat starts by going through the history of the church in America following WWII, through the 60s, 70s and 80s and on to the present. The 50s were really a hay day for the church in America. Theologians and church people had great influence -- Reinhold Niebuhr was a major influence in the church and the nation as a whole. Bishop Sheen was a "rock star" on television. Karl Barth and Paul Tillich were on the cover of Time Magazine. Then Billy Graham came along. From my limited experience, those I met respected the church. Certainly they did not all attend -- nor necessarily believe -- but there was respect. 

As we moved into the 60s and 70s, we experience huge changes in society; Vietnam and the Civil Rights movement. The church wanted to be relevant; some "liberal" churches changed their orthodox believes in order to be relevant. Others -- seeking to stay true to their orthodox beliefs became more fundamentalist and lost almost all of their relevancy. The Gospel preached began to change. 

Douthat singles out the "Feel Good -- Health and Wealth" gospel -- especially as espoused by Joel Osteen. He is a pleasant fellow who has many followers -- but he doesn't preach a traditional gospel. I remember the time in the early 80s when Howard Ervin, professor at Oral Roberts University and Bible teacher for our Holy Spirit Conference at the Green Lake conference grounds, stated that the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement was in danger by an heresy being taught in some circles -- the Health and Wealth Gospel.

On the other hand, Douthat discusses people like Glenn Beck. Beck seems likable enough -- I find him interesting. He is a Mormon and seems to be espousing a Christianity/Civil religion around Patriotism. Unfortunately, this is certainly a heresy. In fact, one of the big problems with conservative Christianity in America today (in my opinion) is to fail to distinguish between the kingdom of God (the church under the Lordship of Christ) and one of the kingdoms of this world (The Government of the United States.) They aren't the same; never were, never will be, never should be. Please don't get me wrong -- I love America. I do know our religious background. I do think the church should stand for the truth of the Gospel and those principles in America which were built on those truths -- but the Government -- and certainly the Democratic or Republican parties are not part of the Kingdom of God. 

This book is well worth reading. It will make you think. If you are somewhat like me, there will be some things that you really affirm, others that you have to think about. Even though Douthat is coming from a little different background than Greg Boyd, this had a similar premise to Greg's The Myth of a Christian Nation also well worth reading.

Which Speaks Louder, Doing or Being?

I have often discussed with new pastors the importance of being, not just doing. I usually point to the picture of the vine and branches which Jesus discusses with his disciples in John 15. Jesus seems to say that fruit comes as a result of connection to the source. When we are connected with Jesus (abiding in the vine,) we bear fruit (Jesus fruit -- that is, we begin to look like Jesus.) Today, I was reading in The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard and came across this passage:

But the question is, How can one keep the law? Jesus well knew the answer to this question, and that is why he told those who wanted to know how to work the works of God to put their confidence in the one God had sent (John 6:29). He knew that we cannot keep the law by trying to keep the law. To succeed in keeping the law one must aim at something other and something more. One must aim to become the kind of person from whom the deeds of the law naturally flow. The apple tree naturally and easily produces apples because of its inner nature. This is the most crucial thing to remember if we would understand Jesus' picture of the kingdom heart given in the Sermon on the Mount. 

And here also lies the fundamental mistake of the scribe and the Pharisee. They focus on the actions that the law requires and make elaborate specifications of exactly what those actions are and of the manner in which they are to be done. They also generate immense social pressure to force conformity of action to the law as they interpret int. They are intensely self-conscious about doing the right thing and about being thought to have done the right thing. 

But the inner dimensions of their personality, their heart and character, are left to remain contrary to what God has required. That heart will, of course, ultimately triumph over their conscious intentions and arrangements, and they will in fact do what they know to be wrong. Their words, especially, will reveal the contents of their heart (Matt. 12:34). And their need to appear righteous "before men" (Luke 15:15) the forces them into hypocrisy. Hypocrisy becomes the spirit, or "yeast," that pervades and colors their entire existence. (pages 142-143)

Of course, Willard is discussing the impossibility of trust trying to be obedient to the demands of the law especially as presented by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. That is, it is impossible for us to just perform the actions. We must be transformed. We must become like Jesus; our heart must be changed.

This change will not happen without the transforming power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. All of us who believe have the presence of the Holy Spirit, but do we allow him to transform us? Part of this permission to the Holy Spirit involves our connection to Jesus. If we would be transformed to be like him, then we must abide -- spend time with -- immerse ourselves in his presence. "Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:4). He goes on in verse 5 to say, "apart from me you can do nothing."

Actions are important! I can't count the times that I have been told, "Actions speak louder than words." Certainly I have repeated that to my children. And, this is true. But, if we are just trying to "do it," we are bound to fail. If we are to stay true to our word, we must not just "do it," but "be it."

Once again it is Palm Sunday -- Easter here we come!

I must admit that I really look forward to Holy Week. It is exciting! It is the high point of the Church Year. Palm Sunday is the celebration of King Jesus returning to his capitol ready to reclaim the kingdom. He enters His Temple and establishes his authority. It is then on to the glory of his Resurrection! Jesus lives. He has defeated sin and death. Victory in Jesus! Oh wait -- did I forget something. Oh, that's right, I forgot Good Friday and the cross! How could I do that? I know that Jesus died for me, but, it is so exciting to see his glory and the great victory!

Of course, I'm kidding! Right? Well, yes and no. All of us who are believers realize that the cross of Christ is central to our belief. It is central indeed to our salvation. But, it really is all too easy in our celebrations during Holy week to skip from Palm Sunday to Easter with not much mention of Good Friday. When I was much younger, there were community celebrations of good Friday. There would be services running from noon until 3:00 in the afternoon where the cross was central. Now, these kind of services are rarely seen -- the world and our culture has changed. Some churches have Good Friday Services, but much of the time, they are poorly attended. Many of the liturgical churches try to deal with this by designating this Sunday, Palm Sunday and Passion Sunday.

My text for Sunday's sermon is 1 John 5:1-12, with verses 3b-5 somewhat problematic:

And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

Why are these verses problematic? It seems like they are great promises -- and they are!  I also certainly believe that they are true, but here is where they become problematic -- what is meant by overcoming the world. I think that sometimes we become enamored with a triumphalism that neglects the cross. We just see one degree of glory following another. "Just have faith brother -- after all our faith will conquer the world." We forget that the glory of the resurrection only takes place after the humiliation and suffering of the cross.

A second problem is the tendency to see this as some kind of temporal power over our society and culture. I think that this is especially true here in America. We don't understand why it seems like Jesus is losing. "We no longer pray in school. We don't celebrate Christ in Christmas. Now the gays want to have the opportunity to marry!" The complaints go on and on. It sure doesn't seem like we are overcoming the world -- we pray -- and there is one defeat after another. Is this promise true?

This great promise was written when Christians were a very small minority in a pagan culture. Certainly Christianity was not respected or honored, yet John says that we will overcome the world. I think that he is saying that we overcome by not being conformed to the model of this world. We can be transformed and live victorious lives. Remember Jesus lived a victorious life. He was not just victorious on Palm Sunday and Easter. He was victorious on Good Friday. Perhaps that was his greatest victory.

God's Plans and Guidance vs. Our Will

I must admit at the outset that I am not a Theologian. I also realize that there are huge tomes dedicated to this issue. Then I must also admit that I feel completely out my element even addressing such a subject. "Well, why are doing so then?" you might be asking. The reason that I am addressing the issue is personal and is addressed strictly from my experience and my point of view. Lately, I have been writing about God's activity in my life from my earliest childhood see my blog God in the Belly of the Whale. This question also comes to mind as I reflect on my years living in the Ministering Community of the First Baptist Church of Chula Vista.

I knew that I had been called to become a pastor while I was still in my teens. I didn't want to be a pastor and I ran from it for years. Could I have run for the rest of my life. I believe that the answer is certainly, yes. In spite of God's plan for me; in spite of situations that affected my life; in spite of guidance that he provided to me; I didn't have to become a pastor unless I cooperated with God in that choice.

Last week in my Belly of the whale blog I wrote about music, both violin and voice and their impact in my life. Some commented how God used this in my life to provide circumstances where I was able to move into the ministry. I concur with their observations, but I could just as easily moved in other ways. For example, when I was a senior at UCLA I had an opportunity to sing at a large charity dance in Hollywood. I had already auditioned and was selected to be THE vocalist with a "big band" as my accompaniment. I was also provided with a lovely date. I was estranged from my father at the time, but in the afternoon of the performance, I received word that my father had suffered a heart attack. I could have stated that I would go and see him after the evening festivities, but I immediately cancelled my appearance -- and my date and went to see my dad. Needless to say, I was never asked to perform by the sponsors of this event nor was I given the opportunity to date this girl. Ironically I not only missed this opportunity, but I got further estranged from my father when I went to his room and saw that his "girl friend" was there. As he told me he was glad that I came, I replied, "I just came to tell you that I hope you die!" I didn't see him for 10 years. Did God arrange these circumstances? I don't think so. I do think he used the circumstances, but I could have done the performance, I might have married my date and I might have been more sensitive to my date. Any of these things would have changed my life and the decision was up to me! 

Rather than going through a series of "fork in the road" circumstances of my life, I will just state what I believe in the issue. I do believe that God has a plan for my (our) life (lives.) I think that he guides in many ways toward reaching that plan. I don't believe that he sets up a set of circumstances which force into his plan. I do think that he uses these circumstances to help us to make the right decisions leading to living out his plan. But the decisions are ours. Even when I was thrust into the role of a pastor at First Baptist Church of Chula Vista, I was not convinced. I can so close to leaving the church and furthering my education in another field! I prayed about it. God did not make me do it. However, when I surrendered and embraced the role of pastor, years of resistance to that idea rolled away. Finally I was moving with his plan for my life.

It is God's plan -- but he allows us to walk in his ways or not. He loves us either way -- will not force us -- but he won't give up either. 

My First Meditation for Lent

I was very interested in the Face Book posting by Kevin Cope about the celebration of Lent. At our church, Bay View Baptist in Chula Vista, we don't really celebrate Lent, but I do try to help us focus on the cross during the time of Lent. After all, there is no Easter without Good Friday. I am taking my meditations from the letter of 1 John.

"In the beginning God. . ." (Genesis 1:1)
"In the beginning was the Word. . ." (John 1:1)
"That which was from the beginning. . . (1 John 1:1)

These scriptures point to the cosmic reality of God -- the Word which was with God and was God -- the Word made Flesh -- and it is the Word made Flesh upon which I would like us to direct or thoughts at this time. John helps us in this because he doesn't stop with "That which was from the beginning," but continues with

"which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched -- this we proclaim concerning the Word of life." (1 John 1:1 -- NIV)

He could have continued with the one who we ate with, who we could smell. We walked around with him. We heard him teach. We heard him just talking to us as men walking with one another. He was real! He was a man. He was flesh and blood.Yes, I know all about his divinity, but what we saw, touched and talked to was not a What -- or Word -- but a man -- a real man! John goes on

"the life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete." (1 John 2-4 -- NIV) 

He wants us to know that we have eternal life because of Jesus. We know that he is going to talk about his death on a cross. It is for this reason that I think it is so important to see Jesus, the man. This is important first of all because those of us who believe in Jesus and indeed see him as Lord, tend to spiritualize. "The suffering that Jesus went through on the cross because he experienced separation from the Father." This undoubtedly is true, but can any of us relate to that? "Jesus endured the cross because he saw the glory that was to come with Easter and the resurrection." Yes, but does that take away from the reality of the cross? Jesus suffered a painful, agonizing and brutal death upon the cross. Look at it! I can relate to physical pain. Jesus suffered. I get it.

In the church we are looking forward to Easter and we should, but never forget the Old Rugged Cross. 

I would like to add a word about eternal life, fellowship and joy. This eternal life is not merely a statement about longevity after we die and "roll around heaven all day," but it is an entirely new kind of life, here on earth, right now as we become a part of God's Kingdom. We are now in fellowship -- a love fellowship with God -- and with all of those who believe in him. This is the source of joy. All of this is because Jesus, the one in the beginning, the Word which was with God, didn't stay there but, this Word became flesh. John saw him, touched him and talked with him. Jesus came so that we might have life. 

Linda and I Lost a Friend Today

Sherry Liebel passed away this morning. Linda and I have only known her for a few years, but she made quite an impression on us. 

Before she retired, Sherry was an LVN who worked in the Neonatal ICU at Kaiser Hospital in San Diego. The part of her job that she loved was that of holding and rocking these little, sick babies. She loved these little ones so much that she actually got in trouble at times when she was told to just leave the dying ones alone -- take care of the ones where there was hope for the future. She would hold these little, dying babies as they slowly passed away. She was a giver -- and a lover -- a compassionate woman. In 1990, my first Granddaughter was born at Kaiser. It was not long before she was placed in ICU. Linda and I along with my daughter and husband were frightened, but the ICU was good -- Hayley got better and now is a beautiful young woman. I believe that one of the wonderful care givers for Hayley was Sherry. I don't know that for sure, but it gave me a sense of connection thinking that this might have been the case.

I became Pastor of Bay View Baptist church in 2006. One of our mainstays in the church was Diane Strader. She was a nurse and had a group of nurses that she met with on occasion. Somewhere around 2010 or so, Diane brought a friend to church, Sherry. Sherry was a Christian, but like many of us wasn't particularly religious. I wasn't sure that Sherry would stick around, but she fooled me, she began to attend every Sunday. Then, in 2012, Diane moved to Oceanside and stopped attending. Now, I really wondered whether Sherry would continue attending. She did! She not only attended, she became a real spark plug in the church. It seemed like whenever someone was in need, Sherry was always there; she was a compassionate woman. She visited the sick and dying. She gave financially to help out those in need. All of this was done by a very proper lady. She always dressed for church -- she was proper. Her hair was always just so (I found out later, she wore wigs a lot.)

Before she ever attended, she had gone through a bout of cancer, but seemed to recover. Last year the cancer recurred with a vengeance. Sherry went through chemotherapy with hardly any complaining. This is when I realized that she wore wigs. We prayed fervently for her healing. It seemed like the prayers were effective because Sherry was doing so well. She had little pain and was always in good spirits. She continued to love the people; she was a compassionate woman. Late last year she asked me to baptize her. This was a high point, not only in her life, but in the life of the church. She was so excited! She gave a wonderful testimony -- and she didn't wear her wig. I never saw her with a wig again. She was beautiful. She was down to earth. Indeed she lit up our lives.

Then she began to take a turn for the worse. She couldn't eat. She lost weight. Yet, she never lost her smile. She continued to serve and bless others. She didn't complain -- and she still had no pain! Then, just a few weeks ago, she began to move toward the end. She was taken care of by her loving friend, Gloria. Then she entered hospice. Finally, she not only couldn't eat, she couldn't even hold down water.

She became a special friend to my wife Linda. We went to visit her on Thursday night. She was so frail and weak, yet she smiled and talked -- and still no pain. She tried to take her pills but couldn't hold anything down. She rolled over and said, "I want my mom!" Linda held her. I kissed her forehead and she kissed my cheek. We prayed. That was the last time we saw her. Gloria called this morning and told us that she was gone. She will be missed! Linda and I lost a friend this morning. 

The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich by William L. Shirer

I recently finished reading this for the second time (not the abridged version). It is huge, around 1100 pages. It took me quite a while to finish. "Why on Earth are you reading this for the second time," you might ask?Well, for several reasons. First, I love reading history, particularly history of the Second World War. Second, I am very interested in WWII Germany. Why did the people cave in to Hitler and his aims? Third, my grandparents were immigrants from Germany; thus, I identify with Germany and ask again, "Why did the people cave in to Hitler and his aims?" As to this identity, one of my childhood traumas was when I went out to play with the neighborhood children in Cincinnati, Ohio (I was probably around 4 years old), they all began to yell at me, "Raus mit ihm! Raus mit ihm! You dirty German! We don't play with dirty Germans." I didn't know what they were getting at until I cried to my mother and she confirmed that I was indeed a dirty German (she didn't say dirty German.) Lastly, one of my real heroes is Dietrich Bonhoeffer because he was not only a theologian, he was German and he didn't fall for Hitler's program. He actually rose above his pacifist believes to enter the plot to kill Hitler. He died for this. 

Shirer was a journalist, not a historian. He also wrote this just a few years after WWII. But he was working in Germany during the thirties as Hitler was coming to power and starting his program of aggression. After the war, he gained access to many of the documents recovered as a result of the Nuremberg trials. This is not a military history of the war. It is part biographical (Hitler), and more of a political history. 

The people of Germany were taken in by Hitler's promise that they would rise a people again. Of course, Germany had been badly beaten down after WWI. They were ripe to fall for the propaganda. I can understand this. What I have a hard time understanding is how so many could give a blind eye to the horrendous events such as the Jewish Holocaust. The longer Hitler was in power, the more irrational he became. As he was in the process of being defeated, he refused surrender. He felt that the people had not lived up to his standards and that they deserved to be destroyed. And they were!

This book is also a warning that we must always be alert. I am continually disturbed by how uninformed the population of the US is. I even have to include myself in this. I am not talking about the fact of political division, even though that is disturbing. I am talking about ignorance. If we are conservative, we listen to and parrot slogans from the right. If we are liberal, we listen to and parrot from the left. We really don't have a clue as to what is happening. We, as a population are ripe for the picking. I do thank God, that for the most part even politicians that we disagree with are basically decent people who want to do the right thing as they see it. I also think that it is the grace of God that we have been protected for so long. But, we must not presume upon that grace. 

I don't know whether this book is great or not, but it is a good read if you are really interested in the history of Germany during that period. It is also an interesting read about how an entire nation can be led so far astray.

The Myth of a Christian Nation by Greg Boyd

I recently finished this book by Greg Boyd and found it to be challenging as well as interesting. I need to state in the beginning that I like Boyd. He is a great speaker and I think that he has a lot to say. He is the pastor of a large church in Minneapolis, but I first came across him at a symposium held at Bethel Theological Seminary West. Boyd was essentially being examined by other theologians because of his "heretical?" view of the the Openness of God. After this I read two of the volumes of his trilogy about God at War. Finally I heard him speak twice at the Holy Spirit Conference at Green Lake, WI. I should also state that I didn't agree with everything in this book, yet I think it is well worth reading. I am also quite sure that almost anyone reading the book will be upset by something that Boyd writes. I also feel that he is a good writer.

Well, what is this book about? Why does he say that the notion of America as a Christian Nation is a Myth? Well, first let me state what it is not about. He is not bashing America. He actually thinks America is pretty good and he is glad that he lives here. What he opposed to is how much of the church has been captured into a kind of Civil Religion whereby America has taken the place of ancient Israel, the chosen nation -- the people of God. One of the problems with this is that, as good as America is, the people really don't live up to any one's notion of the People of God. Now we can move on to his thesis. Jesus said in Matthew 20:25-28:

25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

The United States of America is a part of the Kingdom of this world. It wields authority and pronounces judgement, as it should. This is the purpose of Government in our world. But, Jesus emphatically pronounces that his Kingdom is different. Greatness in his kingdom is scene in service not in power over. He states several times, that the Kingdom of God looks a lot like Calvary.

The challenge for the church is to be the church; to demonstrate the Kingdom of God in a nation (yes, a good nation) that is part of the World's structure, not the Kingdom of God. I am also appalled because of the "Religious Right" just being seen as an arm of the Republican Party. I tend to be conservative and tend to vote republican, but neither party reflects the Kingdom of God. The church should never be seen as a constituent of a political party.

He sees the church's function as being Jesus in the world. To love and not condemn, to serve and not correct. I'm sure that he will find people upset on both sides of the spectrum. I also am not sure that Boyd fully examines how all of this is carried out in a democracy. Having said all this, it is a good -- a challenging read. Agree or not, we should think about these things.

Healed and Healing

This picture of the Fall of Saigon brings back my anger and disappointment about my years in and out of Vietnam. When I think of Vietnam, it is the sound of helicopters that I remember most. I still get anxious when I hear them overhead. It has been a long time -- 1970 -- but it seems like yesterday. I can hear the sounds and see the sights. Another think that reminds me of Nam is the sight and sounds of the fireworks on the 4th or July. In Vietnam, every night the skies were lit by a barrage of flares. Let's get this clear; I was not a hero , I was not wounded, nor do I suffer from PTSD. Yet, I have a lot of feelings and memories from this time that I would like to forget.

In November 2013, I began to dream about Vietnam. This was for no apparent reason. I didn't sense anything happening. The Holy Spirit Renewal Ministries Executive Committee was meeting at Clay Ford's house. I had to pick up two of the women from out of town and take them to the meeting. As we were on the road to the meeting, Norelle asked me what I felt about Vietnam. Wow, out of the blue! I told her that in some ways the day that Saigon fell was one of the worst days of my life. I told her that I had a hard time looking at that picture of the helicopter at the Embassy without tearing up. I began to tell her that I was and still am angry over Vietnam; 50,000 young men and women died to save the country from Communism. Then, in 1975, we gave it to the Communists and tucked our tails between our legs and went home. What a waste!

I was a Naval Officer and served in the US Navy from October 1960-April 1975. Most of that time was centered on Vietnam. In 1961 while serving on a Destroyer we were involved in air control for some operations being conducted in country. In 1964 while aboard the USS Paul Revere, we spent time in Saigon waiting for a potential evacuation of US Citizens (it didn't happen, but we were there.) Then in 1965, while serving on an LST (The Mahnomen County) in Norfolk VA, the home port of the ship was changed from Norfolk to Saigon. So, I spent most of 1966 cruising from places like Qui Nhon to Chu Lai and then to Danang, doing resupply. Even though I was shipboard, this counted as an "in country tour." In 1968 and 1969 I was aboard ship performing operations off the coast. Then, in 1970 the Bureau of Naval Personnel said that they really had a "career enhancing job for me." I was to be the Assistant Operations Officer for Naval Support Activity in Danang. This was essentially a desk job -- long hours, a lot of noise and rocket attacks, but relatively safe. Unfortunately after I had been there a few months, since the Navy was cutting back in Danang, I received orders to be the "Duffel Bag" Officer in Binh Thuy (in the Mekong Delta.) I was devastated! I was going to watch over the sea bags of the sailors down there. 

Before I left Danang, a Lieutenant Commander came to brief me on my new job. Duffel Bag was a code name for a somewhat clandestine operation mostly in the delta. I had 13 detachments working for me spread throughout the delta. Our unit planted sensors along the Ho Chi Minh trail and when the sensors were activated, we called in fire and destroyed the enemy. At some bases, we were also active in base defense. The organization was unusual -- I was Navy and attached to River Patrol Flotilla Five, but I was under the operational control of the Army -- I rode Army helicopters and briefed an Army General (the Helo crews all called my major.) I was also an advisor to the Vietnamese Navy. In my job, I spent 3 or 4 days a week riding Huey's around the delta, taking teams into their Landing zones and helping them get resupplied. This was where I felt the war. One of my detachments at Song on Doc was responsible for base defense, yet the base was destroyed (the good news was that my people were OK.) I also lost one of my teams in Chu Lai; it was an advisory team composed of three men (the rest were Vietnamese). One was killed and the other two had to be sent out of country.   

Later, in 1973, I was in North Vietnam with the task force removing the mines that we had planted earlier. This was a result of the Paris Accords which led to the release of our POWs. John McCain you owe me. I finished my career by planning the evacuation of Pnomh Penh, Cambodia when it fell. This was somewhat simultaneous to the fall of Saigon.

One last thing hit me wrong. After I left the Navy, I went to the VA hospital and they refused to treat me unless I signed a waiver that I would never sue them over Agent Orange.I do need to say that in later years I have found the VA to be very supportive. 

I seldom thought of these things, but for some reason I was thinking about them and feeling them in November. Then Norelle lanced the boil and my feelings began to come out. Sorry for that Norelle! But, here is where the Spirit moved. Indeed this is the rest of the story. Clay was scheduled to lead a healing service at Skyline Wesleyan Church. Those of us on the Executive Committee were to minister to people desiring that healing. When the time came to pray, I was down in front and the person that approached me for prayer was a tall, good looking young man -- yet he walked with a limp and had a cane. I asked him what was going on in his life; what did he want the Lord to do for him? He then told me, "I am in constant pain. I have a spinal injury from a broken neck that I suffered in Afghanistan. I also have been diagnosed with PTSD and I am so angry." Wow! I told him that I was an old Vietnam vet and began to pray. He experienced a touch from the Lord. I have no way of knowing how much healing he received, but I do know that we experienced the presence of the Lord together. We both cried together. It was healing. I received healing. Am I completely free of my negative feelings. No, but the dreams have stopped. I believe that much of the anger is gone. God is freeing me up. The Spirit moves in strange ways. First I dreamed bad dreams. Norelle questioned me -- out of the blue. A wounded soldier from Afghanistan sought me out for prayer. I receive healing. Thank you Lord.